Blessed be the fruit. Honestly, we’re a little shocked that we’re having to put up posts about baby gifts, but here we are. Unfortunately for all of us, at some point we’ll have to attend a baby shower and watch a v pregnant almost-mom open gift after gift of everything from oversized stuffed animals to nipple balm. It’s a thing, and it’s terrifying.
Anyway, if you want to be the real VIP MVP of the baby shower circuit, make sure your gifts are on point. Whether you shower the parents-to-be with amazingly hilar onesies or gift cards to the best area restaurants ensuring them a night out, don’t fall into the trap of getting boring, loud, or weird baby gifts.
Hilarious Onesies From Shop Betches
I’m not going to NOT plug our own merch, which is like, rly cute. You may as well buy about 100 onesies for any new child, since they’re likely to go through anywhere from five to 500 in any given day. They may as well look cute while they throw up on themselves. Babies, they’re just like us.
Something For Mama
Mama is going to get a sh*tload of stuff for baby, i.e. toys, diapers, more diapers, onesies, baby food puree systems, tiny shoes and socks, etc. Get something for the new mom to enjoy, like, a day trip to a really nice spa complete with an offer of babysitting (I KNOW), several bottles of wine that age well considering she won’t be able to drink it until she’s done breastfeeding (unless she pumps and dumps), or a foot massage system that she can sit in while ordering her SO to actually change a diaper for once.
Baby Food Puree Systems
If mom is already the owner of something like a Vitamix or Ninja blender system, she’s probably going to love the Baby Bullet (kinda off on the name, there, marketing people) or a similar product. It allows mom to make her own concoctions of baby food. That means she doesn’t have to run to the store and buy 1,000 glass jars.
Quiet Distractions For Bae
You know what new parents don’t want? Any kind of toy/distraction device that sings a song or makes any kind of sound. They’re getting enough sounds every three hours, morning, noon, and night. Find a toy that makes no noise but will keep bae distracted so mom can, like, pour a glass of wine for herself. Try items made from fabric, like soft baby books, foam blocks, and other soft, soothing, items.
Call it bougie, and it is, but if this is mama’s first baby, you can’t go wrong by buying the classic silver baby spoon from Tiffany’s. This isn’t really something that serves a true purpose–it’s a keepsake. Tiffany’s also has baby brushes, rattles, and other silver things that, at the price of around $300+, will definitely get you into the good graces of the parents … hopefully, so much so, that they’ll never ask you to babysit. It’s a win-win for everyone, fam.
This is neither classy nor cute, but the parents-to-be will be singing your praises. If there’s one thing that babies go through a lot of, it’s diapers. Duh. Build a diaper pyramid with about 15 packages of Pampers or Huggies or whatever, and the parents will be forever grateful. You’re essentially saving them a screaming argument at 3am about whose turn it is to do a diaper run. Praise be.
Hey, you know what’s awesome? Being able to tune into baby in the crib without leaving the comfort of the couch. These days, there are tons of systems that include full sound AND video, so mom or dad can watch bae sleep (not in a creepy way) and decide whether or not the fussing is worth getting up for.
Images: Nynne Schrøder /Unsplash; Amazon; Shop Betches; Tiffany’s
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